Nyctalopia
by Aishuu
Summary: Yukito's admitted he's the other self of Yue - but now what? In the sequel to Alter Egos, Yuki is guided by the one creature who may understand him best, Akizuki Nakuru, in an unlikely friendship... provided they don't kill each other first.
1. Prologue

Aishuu Offers:  
  
Nyctalopia  
  
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction  
  
~ Sequel to "Alter Egos" ~  
  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.  
  
Dedication: For Manon, part of the terrible trio of mods. Sorry it's not a Yami fic, but at least I know you'll read this.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Prologue  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I wasn't really fond of the idea of returning to Tomoeda. Tomoeda held many memories for me, and memories were one thing I didn't like dwelling on. I wasn't, by nature, a person who liked to THINK on the past. I tended to charge forward into the future, and when confronted by things I didn't like, I ignored them.  
  
Avoidance is a GREAT defense mechanism. I practiced it hourly.  
  
It wasn't because I was stupid and denying reality - far from it. Clow Reed never would have created a stupid creation. I was smart, smarter than almost anything human, but intelligence doesn't equal wisdom. Eriol was always telling me wisdom comes with age, and frankly, I wasn't that old.   
  
But I didn't think. If I thought too hard, my head started to hurt. So I left the thinking to Eriol. Or Spinel Sun. Or most recently, Kaho. Anyone but me.  
  
Kaho and Eriol were a strange pair, but they... fit... for lack of a better word. Eriol wouldn't have been happy with a girl his own age, burdened as he was with the memories of Clow Reed. And Kaho had the strange ability to see people for who they really were, and wasn't concerned that she would have to wait for years until Eriol was old enough to pick up the sexual side of their relationship. I teased them about that constantly, but Kaho would just smile.   
  
It made people uncomfortable that I was free talking about that kind of stuff, but I had little concern for social niceties. Manners and frivolities were things I used when I needed to, but they were like clothes, and just as easily discarded. I wasn't completely immoral, just unconcerned. I understood the necessity of proper behavior, but I didn't always follow it.  
  
Eriol found me amusing, and that was what mattered. I was, after all, his. Above all, I had to please him.  
  
Still, the relationship with Kaho was a bit strange. She was an adult, and mortal. Once I asked him why he didn't try to pick up a relationship with Yue. From the few stories I had been told, Yue and Clow had had something going on. That was part of the reason I didn't like Yue much - there were many, but the fact that Clow had once loved Yue in a way that he didn't love me made me jealous. Oh, and I was a jealous creature.   
  
Eriol had been sitting in his large red chair, reading one of his books. He had whipped through his homework, as usual, in fifteen minutes and was now studying some dead language. I peered at the title and saw it was actually some kind of cookbook.  
  
"Anything good?" I asked.  
  
"Many things, but sadly I lack your skill in the kitchen. I might translate them and have you try one or two of them."  
  
I laughed. I had a rough knowledge of languages, but my translations were always imprecise because I was impatient. I was good at many things, but I had never really mastered anything, because I was like a butterfly. I thought Eriol had chosen the right wings to give me, because I flitted from interest to interest, rarely displaying commitment to anything. Though those few times I really wanted something, I displayed a tunnel vision which was terrifying.  
  
Or so I'm told.  
  
Still, Eriol's modesty about his cooking was annoying. There was nothing he didn't do well, and I knew he was a better cook than I would ever be. "Eriol, why don't you make it yourself?" I asked.  
  
"Because I can never put your feeling into it," he told me, shutting the book. "You always do everything with such passion... it comes through." He gazed at me fondly, and I felt myself glow under his praise.  
  
Twirling around, I pulled him out of his chair and gave him a hug, much like an older sister would. He leaned into it, enjoying my touch, but I noticed he didn't fit into my arms as easily as he once had. He was starting to hit a growth spurt, but I was still taller. I was a bit nervous how he would look when he was an adult - it would be a relief when he physically appeared to be my superior, but a part of me would miss being able to cuddle with him.   
  
I settled into the chair, still holding onto him, wanting to savor the moment. "You've grown so much," I told him.  
  
"Things change, people change. It's the one constant in life. Nothing ever stays the same," he told me.  
  
"I do," I replied.  
  
His smile was sad as he tilted his head to examine me. "You may physically, but even you change in here," he told me, resting his hand against my chest.   
  
Eriol's touch was warm through the light cotton blouse I was wearing. I could feel the steady thrum of my heart, realizing he was the one who had made it beat. "Did you change?" I asked. "From being Clow Reed?"  
  
His smile faded. "I'm not him," he told me. "No matter how much Sakura or Yue may want me to be, I'm not. I'm Hiiragazawa Eriol, and this is my life."  
  
"Is that why you haven't gone to Yue?" I asked.  
  
Eriol's hand fell away from me, and I just stared at him as he laughed after a moment. "My curious, curious butterfly... you always ask what I don't want to ask myself." His hand picked up a strand of my hair and twirled it idly around his fingers, and I realized he wasn't seeing me anymore, but memories that weren't his own.  
  
"There's a saying... we never stand in the same river twice. Even if we return to the same spot, the water around us has changed. We try to move downstream, and things are different there. So even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to reclaim what Clow had.  
  
"But I don't. I want to walk my own path, and Yue was part of Clow's. I created my own guardians, who give me what I need in this lifetime. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, different and yet similar to Keroberus and Yue. None of you are the same, and yet..."  
  
His hands slipped away, and he rested his cheek against my shoulder. "Sometimes I wonder why I tried to divert the stream onto the course I did. Kaho is my future, but I tried to tell Yue which way he had to flow..." Behind his glasses, his eyes fluttered shut, and he fell asleep. It was a curious moment, one that made me wonder exactly what he had done to Yue.  
  
And if he had regrets. He had helped Sakura change the cards, but as Clow Reed, he had created them as his magnus opus, created Yue and Keroberus...  
  
But that was then. This was now. The moment is never the same twice, was what he meant.  
  
And things do change. The river of time flowed onwards, and you do return to certain parts of your life that you don't always want to be. The waters may have been different, but the scenery was the same.  
  
When Kaho finished up her teaching duties, Eriol declared it was time for us to go back to Tomoeda. I pouted and complained about how I had just finished learning English, but Eriol said that if I really wanted, he could arrange for me to stay, but that he was going back. He had friends he missed, and he liked being around people who understood who he was.  
  
"There's a nice university that has good professors - would you like to enroll?" he asked late one night when I had thrown a particular wild fit about leaving.   
  
Eriol was my master; it was a stupid suggestion and we both knew it.  
  
"Meanie," I said, scowling at him. "I'll start packing."  
  
"Please. I would hate to leave you behind, and I think you'll find something worthwhile to keep yourself occupied," he told me. He gave me one those secretive smiles that everyone else found so infuriating but I just saw as part of his character. It was a mystery I would know the answer to later, and though I usually in on the secret, this time I had no clue what he was hinting at.  
  
Having a seer for a master sucked sometimes.  
  
In the corner, Spinel Sun watched us with those all-too-smug eyes of his, and I made a mental note to buy a pile of pocky as soon as I arrived. Spinel Sun had a little comeuppance due.  
  
I let my doubts fade away. I would be going back to a place where I had failed, and it wouldn't be entirely pleasant. Still... it would definitely be worth going returning. The thing about Eriol was that he never lied; he may never have told the complete truth, but he never out and out lied. Eriol's glasses glinted in the light and I wondered exactly what the future had in store for me.  
  
END PROLOGUE  
  
  
  
Nyctalopia:  
  
n : inability to see clearly in dim light; due to a deficiency of vitamin A or to a retinal disorder, also known as night blindness or moon blindness.  
  
  
  
Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University 


	2. Chapter 1

Aishuu Offers:  
**Nyctalopia**  
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction  
Sequel to "Alter Egos"   
mbsilvanayahoo.com  
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.  
  
_Part One:_  
  
When I arrived in Tomoeda, I think I was a little disappointed.   
  
We moved in the Tsukimine Shrine, and spent a week getting the place into shape. I let myself be distracted with the idea of dressing as a shrine maiden, but that grew stale real quick. I wasn't that patient, and one of the things people expected of mikos was a certain serenity which I definitely lacked.   
  
Eriol, of course, was busy doing his Eriol-like things. I only noticed him wandering around in a blue hakama occasionally, but most of the times he was off in his own little world or with Kaho, and didn't have much time for me. Suppi was anti-social, burying himself in books and refusing to be distracted.  
  
I hate to admit it, but I was a bit lonely.  
  
We had arrived in the middle of summer, and the schools were out. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to university, but Eriol asked me what I would do if I didn't. He would be going to Tomoeda Middle School, and wouldn't have time to play with me - and that was exactly how he worded it.   
  
So I went and signed up for the local university, then and there, just to spite him. I didn't need him to entertain me! Akizuki Nakuru was self-entertaining, and all that! Which was exactly what he wanted me to do, damn him. The thing about Eriol is that he always gets his way, and then he _smiles_ at you and pets you on the head for falling into line with his plans. I can see why that Li kid found him so irritating.   
  
The University required some admission exams, but I didn't have any problems with them. I had been created with a certain level of knowledge, and the curiosity which was so much a part of my personality had given me an insatiable thirst to keep adding to it. I loved asking questions, and sometimes I would read or just watch people to get the answers I so desired.  
  
_How does this work? Why is that like that? What are the possibilities?_

No matter how much you learn, there's always more out there. And it's infuriating when I consider the fact that Eriol probably knows all the answers before I even think of the questions, but never bothers to tell me because he's _Eriol_ and...  
  
Ahem.  
  
Anyway, I managed to pass the University exams with flying colors and was placed as a third year transfer student, which was the age I am as Akizuki Nakuru. Of course, there was some forging of records involved to show that I had taken the other semesters abroad, but that wasn't a problem for my master.  
  
He's Eriol.  
  
The only problem was that I was stuck waiting for school to begin. I am not a terribly patient person, I keep saying that, don't I? But all there was for me to do was shop for a school wardrobe, and while the fashions between England and Japan are different, shopping gets stale quick when you have to shop on your own. Kaho was already up buried in getting the shrine running again, and Eriol was being a hermit. I think he was planning on seeing Sakura, and maybe making plans for "his cute little descendant" who he mentioned would be returning to Japan to live, but...  
  
Well, he didn't choose to tell me, and it's not my place to push. Suppi is the one who pushes him, and helps him examines the plans he makes. Suppi is twice as smart as I am, and I know that is the way things are supposed to work.  
  
Boredom, though, is a terrible enemy to combat, and I found myself wandering around town aimlessly. Occasionally I'd see a face which I recognized, changed by three years of time, and we'd strike up a conversation, familiar in only the way old acquaintances can be.  
  
On the third day of wandering, a girl who had been my math partner literally ran into me. She wasn't paying attention as she turned a corner, and she literally sent me flying. As she bent to offer a hand to help me to my feet, she paused, staring at my face with a bit of shock.  
  
"...Nakuru-chan? Is that you?"   
  
It took me a moment to recognize her, for her face had thinned with adulthood, and she wasn't wearing the uniform which had once been as familiar to me as my own skin. She looked different, and I could tell by her surprised expression that she hadn't been expecting to see me.  
  
"Yup yup, Ayumi-chan!" I said cheerfully, before throwing my arms around her and giving her a boisterous hug.  
  
She returned it, a bit uncomfortably, and I could see as I pulled back that her eyes were darting around, checking to see if anyone had noticed our display. Ah, yes. We were twenty now, and too adult to be friendly in public. I personally thought that people were way too uptight - if you were happy to see someone, shouldn't you show that?  
  
"Same old Nakuru-chan," she said. Then she blinked and studied me carefully. "You really haven't changed at all! You look just the same!"  
  
She was right, and it was starting to become a problem. The thing about being a magical creature is that you don't age - and while I could be mistaken for any age from a mature fifteen to a young twenty-five, I wouldn't get any older. So people who knew me as the high school Nakuru might get curious...  
  
Oh, well. I'd deal with that later.  
  
"I like my look!" I said, playing with one of my long ponytails. I usually left it down now, but the weather was hot and I didn't want to deal with it against my neck. I knew it made me look young, though.  
  
Ayumi laughed. "There's nothing wrong with it," she said gently, as though talking to a child. She gently patted my arm. "Are you moving back here?"  
  
"Even enrolled in university," I told her cheerfully. Around us, people walked by, and I became aware that we were in the middle of traffic. "Would you like to get a snack and catch up? I'll pay," I offered.  
  
A look I recognized passed through her eyes. She didn't want to have anything to do with me. "I'm sorry, Nakuru-chan. I've got to get back to work... but if you give me your phone number, I'll call you and set up a date?"  
  
I scribbled my number down for her on the back of a receipt I had, and bid her a sunny farewell. I knew I wouldn't be seeing her again.  
  
We'd had fun in high school. She'd come over a few times when Eriol hadn't been plotting on making the Cardmistress's life interesting. We'd passed notes in math class and giggled over how cute Touya-kun was, but apparently she'd decided after a few sentences with me that I wasn't an acquaintance she wanted to maintain. I probably was too immature to fit into her adult life, and my traits which had been charming as a teenager were now trying to people who were supposedly mature.  
  
It was a problem, and while it wasn't my nature to sulk about things I couldn't change, I pouted all the way home.  
  
Kaho was waiting for me at the top of the steps, holding a cup of tea, which she offered as she divested me of my shopping bags. She was like that - she always knew when something was wrong. Our moon magic tended to resonate, and I just couldn't help liking her. It was like sitting under a full moon for me, that same kind of tranquillity of knowing that I could be myself, as myself was meant to be.  
  
"Let's go inside," she said after I had drained the tea, and her smile lingered around her lips as she led me into the living area. On the table was a tea pot, and a second cup for her. She poured herself one, and refilled my cup for me, before raising an eyebrow.  
  
"It's changed too much," I said. " I don't know anyone."  
  
"Have you called Touya?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.  
  
Touya. Now there was the dilemma. I had spent most of my time here throwing myself at him in an attempt to try to get him to notice me (and get his magic, but we can ignore that), and failure was something I detested. Seeing him again would rub salt on the wound as he had chosen Yue over me, and I had some serious issues regarding that albino ice cube.  
  
"I'm not calling him! He can call me!" I proclaimed, flipping my hair a bit. Of course, it would be a cold day in hell before he called me, but I could deal with that. A girl has her pride, and if delusion helps maintain that, well, what's the harm?  
  
"How will he know you're back?"  
  
"I'm sure he'll hear about the shrine," I said lamely. Okay, I was stretching it, but denial is something I had raised to an art form.  
  
She gave me that soft, understanding smile which meant she had seen through my smokescreen, but was going to let me get away with it. I liked that about her. The moon is the symbol of delusion, and it's something I think became a part of my personality.   
  
"I have a feeling you'll be meeting with him," she said, taking a sip of her tea. Glancing down into her cup, she stared at it intensely, as though there were tea leaves in it for her to read - which there were. She actually made instant tea, usually, despite what most people would have thought of her.  
  
"Really?" Real pathetic, Nakuru.  
  
"Your relationship won't be the same. You..." She considered the matter. "He doesn't have his magic anymore."  
  
"He's still hot."  
  
"You're not that much of an air head, Ruby Moon," she said disapprovingly. She disliked it when I really flaked out since she claimed that I was smarter than that.  
  
"Nakuru is!" I told her cheerfully.  
  
Kaho just sighed. "I think it'd be better if I didn't say too much. Too much knowledge..."  
  
"...isn't a good thing," I finished with her. How often had Eriol spoken of the burden of the future? Sometimes I understood, but it really helped when you were about to be broadsided by a major life change, and Eriol was being a pain in the ass about this whole move. "A hint?" I begged.  
  
She opened her mouth to deny me, but then pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Keep your mind and heart open, Nakuru. Of all of Clow Reed's creations, you're the most loving, and that's your greatest strength."  
  
Good advice. Too bad I never take good advice.

PQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQ

The next day, I was out wandering town again, with another wad of Eriol's money to keep me company. Eriol invested wisely, and I think he uses a bit of divination in the stock markets, because he always seems to get more money, no matter how much I try to spend.   
  
I bought myself a new dress, and some hair ties, and some make up, and... well, enough to fill up a healthy shopping bag. Since I'd forgotten my shopping bag, I also bought a new canvas shopping bag as well, since paper and plastic are really wasteful. I'm a friend to the environment.  
  
The bag was pretty heavy, and a lot of people would have had some problems carrying it without getting a back ache, but there are some advantages of being a magical creation. Pain is all in the head, and since I knew my body was more than up to the task, I didn't feel it.  
  
On the way back to the house, I decided I was hungry. It had been the new moon a few nights ago, and I tended to eat more when there was less moonlight in the sky. I really envied Suppi, sometimes. Aside from a terrible takoyaki craving and an allergy to sugar (oh, that was so fun!), he really wasn't a slave to his appetite. Well, anyway, I bought myself an extra-large ice cream cone, with mint chocolate chip and coffee flavors, and asked them to put a cherry on top. I fluttered my eyelashes at the counter boy, and he actually gave me three. Nice to know I still had it.  
  
Ice cream melts fast, though, and it was hard to manage my bag and to keep from having sticky fingers from having the ice cream drip into my hands. I knew there was a park nearby, and I decided the best thing to do would be to sit down for a while.  
  
It was probably close to four when I finally arrived in the park. The light was still going to be good for another four hours or so, but it was starting to slant so the shadows were longer, and the air was starting to cool down after a ninety degree day. Still hot, but bearable. The swing set would normally be my choice place to sit, because I could get a breeze on my legs as I worked on my cone. However, there already was someone there, and it was someone I really didn't want to see.  
  
Tsukishiro Yukito, my nemesis.  
  
I was all set to march right out of there, and damned if the ice cream dripped everywhere, but just then Yukito looked up, and met my eyes - and stared at me with an expression I've never seen on his face before. I couldn't quite place it, but it was something before hopelessness, and after despair.  
  
He'd seen me, and we stared at each other for a good minute before I finally spoke. "Aren't you going to welcome me back to town, Tsukishiro-kun?"  
  
He blinked, and the spell was broken. His hands rested on the chains of the swing, and he looked pale and beautiful and entirely too much like Yue. I could feel the magic radiating off of him, magic which should have been given to me. "When did you come back?" he asked, ignoring the greeting. Very rude, especially for him.  
  
"About two weeks ago," I said, and there was no smile on my face. I didn't like him, not at all.  
  
"Is your master back as well?" he asked, and there seemed to be a glint of blue in his eyes that fled almost instantly - but I was warned. Yue was there as well, listening.  
  
"Of course. What kind of guardian would I be if I left my master?" I said airily, then my eyes narrowed. "Since you're asking about my master, I assume that means you know the truth."  
  
His eyes fell away. "I suppose."  
  
"Suppose? Either you do or you don't!" I said with irritation.  
  
He turned and leveled a glare at me, and I nearly choked on my own tongue at the sight. Tsukishiro Yukito... glaring? He really must have started to merge with Yue, to pull of such a look. "It's none of your damn business!" he said, and before I knew it, he was up on his feet, and storming out of the park.  
  
Interesting, and I might have called to taunt him once more, but as he brushed by me he joggled my arm, and my ice cream landed on the front of my tank top. I stared in horror for a second as the mess dribbled down my front, but by the time I turned to rage at him, Yukito was gone.  
  
The bastard had done it on purpose. There was no need for him to pass that close to me unless he had a reason to.   
  
Needless to say, it was not an auspicious way to start off.

END PART ONE


	3. Chapter 2

Aishuu Offers:  
**Nyctalopia**  
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction  
Sequel to "Alter Egos"  
  
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.

* * *

Most people would have expected me to go home and scheme and sulk after that pleasant little encounter with Yukito, but to be honest, I kind of forgot about it after getting over the irritation of having my clothes ruined.

Oh, sure I was annoyed with him, and I would definitely try to get even if I ever saw him again, but I had more important fish to fry. I had college coming, and I found myself too excited about that to think of anything else. I'm kind of focused in a way.

Two weeks later, I woke up early on a Monday, filled with energy. Classes would be starting that morning and I was eager to be meeting my new friends. I was positive I would be encountering a ton of interesting people who would provide me with the amusement I had been lacking so far.

If only I had known...

Kaho had thoughtfully prepared a full breakfast for me, waffles with syrup and strawberries on the side. I sat down to it eagerly, a bit amused at how Suppi was staying out of my arm's reach. He was carefully dining on a piece of fish, keeping a watchful eye on what I was about to do.

"Ne, Suppi... aren't you going to miss me?" I asked, fluttering my eyelashes. "You're going to be alone, all day..."

Suppi sniffed in that disdainful fashion he'd mastered. "Kaho is going to be here, and I'm going to be grateful for the quiet. _She_ isn't annoying."

I knew very well what Suppi was implying, but couldn't resist jerking on his chain. "Sheesh, I thought you liked Eriol..."

Suppi twitched in a slightly distressed fashion, his eyes widening in a touch of exasperation. "You know very well-"

Of course, that was when Eriol entered with his usual impeccable timing, dressed in the blue uniform of a middle school student. I looked at Eriol with a slightly troubled expression. "Eriol, Spinel Sun finds your presence troublesome. Maybe he would be happier spending his day with Keroberus?" I suggested.

"I didn't say that!" Suppi said in horror. If there was one creature in the universe that annoyed him more than I did, it was Keroberus, Sakura's loud-mouthed sun guardian.

Eriol's glasses glinted slightly as he turned to look at Suppi, and the smile that traced his lips was clear indication he was about to make my counterpart wish he'd never gotten up. Eriol was pure evil, sometimes.

"Spinel Sun, I certainly wouldn't want you to be unhappy," Eriol said, the concern in his deep voice sounding perfectly sincere - unless you knew him well. "I think Sakura would be quite happy to leave Keroberus with some company during the day. I could drop you off on my way to school daily..." He trailed off, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"I don't want to spend a day with that pig!" Suppi protested, fluttering a bit in distress.

"He's just shy," I chimed in. "He just doesn't want to admit how much he misses Kero-chan!" I smiled helpfully.

"Na-ku-ru!" Suppi wailed. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?" I danced merrily around the table, snagging Suppi in a firm grip and hugging him tightly to my chest. "I just want to make sure my bestest friend is as happy as he can be!"

Eriol snickered as he watched Suppi try unsuccessful to wiggle out of my hands. I was experienced in keeping Suppi trapped when I wanted to.

"You stupid butterfly! When I get out, I'm going to-" Suppi railed, about ready to snap.

I sighed a bit sadly, recognizing that playtime was over. Releasing Suppi, I grabbed my nag and kissed Eriol quickly on the cheek before Suppi could regain enough control to transform and sit on me. That's one of his favorite ways to take revenge.

"I'm on my way! Have a great day at school, Eriol... say hi to Sakura-chan for me!" I called over my shoulder as I darted out the door.

I normally wouldn't have had to leave so early, since my first class didn't start until ten, but I wanted to have time to scout the campus out - and check out the boys. Maybe I would make some friends in the process, the ever-optimistic part of me was thinking.

Strangely, when I set foot on campus, I felt a feeling of foreboding well inside my chest, making it hard to breathe. The grounds were beautiful, but everywhere were students gathered in small groups, greeting each other with the ease of long familiarity.

I checked my outfit discretely, relieved that it seemed to be in style. My fingers tightened on my bag's strap, and I forced myself to take a deep breath. It wasn't like me to get nervous, but all these people seemed so _serious..._ I was as smart as they were! I was more talented than any of them! I told myself, but I couldn't quite dismiss a slight sense of displacement.

Around me were adults. I was still a child.

I planted a smile firmly on my lips, nodding to anyone who caught my eye. I had been the transfer student before, and I knew I would succeed and become popular. People were attracted to me, dammit.

Finally I found a group which was indulging in one of those comfortable lulls in conversation that only long acquaintance could bring. Two boys lounged on benches with a girl who had taken a seat at the foot of a nearby tree. "Excuse me?" I asked as I came to stop in conversational range.

The large of the boys, one who had hair nearly as black as Eriol's and brown eyes that reminded me of Touya's, was the one who replied. "Yes?" he asked in a tenor surprising in one so large.

"I'm new here... I was hoping you might be able to direct me to the science building?" I already new the answer, having memorized a campus map, but it was a good opening line.

The three exchanged a quick look before the girl answered. "Our first class is there, we'll take you," she said. She was a traditional looking Japanese girl, but there was a wit glittering in her eyes that I immediately liked. "What's your class?" she asked.

"Astronomical legends," I replied. "I'm taking it to fill my history requirement." Never mind I could probably teach the class. If there was one thing Eriol was keen on, it was stars.

The girl laughed. "Oh, you poor thing," she said. "You must be a transfer."

"Yes?" I asked cautiously.

"It's a 300 class, but you're taking it with Hatanaka-sensei." She shook her head in mock concern. "He's legendary.... it'll take up the next four months of your life," she said.

"I like stars..." I said lamely, starting to worry. Apparently I'd just stepped into the legendary "killer course" which all universities had. An astrology course would normally be a cake class, but the way the girl was talking...

"You'll hate them by the time it's over," said the boy who had spoken first. "Hatanaka-sensei is very thorough."

"It'll be fine!" I said firmly, determined to keep an open mind. "I don't mind working!"

The boy who hadn't spoke chuckled, and my breath caught as he looked at my with blue-violet eyes that were only a shade different than Yue's. He was perhaps one of the prettiest boys I had ever seen - not handsome, but delicately pretty in a fashion that pushed the line to effeminate. I liked pretty boys, but his finely sculpted face was just too... something. I couldn't think of the right word.

The girl noticed where my attention had wandered to and a tired looked entered her expression. "He got another one," she sighed.

"Huh?" I asked, but the boy looked exasperated and the dark-haired one looked amused.

"Namiki-kun always catches all the pretty girls," he said, winking at me. "They just can't help for falling for his bishounen looks."

"Stop that!" the pretty boy, apparently named Namiki, demanded.

"Why should I? Do you know how many dates I've had since I've started hanging out with you?"

"It's not my fault!"

The girl shook her head as the two started fighting playfully. "Um, that's Namiki Kiyoyuki, and the one fighting with him is Naka Hideo," she said, waving a hand at the pair. "I'm Asakura Miyo."

I smiled at her brilliantly. "I'm Akizuki Nakuru!" I announced. "Third year transfer, majoring in philosophy, political science and zoology!"

She blinked at me slowly as my three majors processed. "All of those?"

"Well, I really couldn't decide. Everything is so interesting!" I clapped my hands as I bounced on the balls of my feet. "I'll probably be here for a few years, but it's fun!"

She shook her head slowly, an amused smile playing on her lips. "And I thought Namiki was crazy, double majoring in chemistry and ethics," she said.

Namiki and Naka had stopped fighting and were looking at me curiously. "Least we're not trying to become doctors... now that's insanity," Naka returned, earning himself a scowl from Asakura.

"Well, least I'm not majoring in physics! How nerdy can you get?"

I watched with amusement as they began to playfully bicker, with Namiki occasionally throwing in a comment to keep the fight going. After about five minutes, they paused to take a breathe, aware of their audience again.

"Um, sorry, Akizuki-san," Naka said, blushing a bit. "It's an old argument."

"I can tell," I replied a touch dryly. "What year are you?"

"I'm in my fourth, these two chumps are in their third, like you," Asakura replied. "We're all science majors, so we spent a lot of time in Camelot."

"Palace?" I echoed.

"It's named Arthur Hall, but somehow it got dubbed Camelot, and the name's stuck. If you're in zoology, you'll spend a lot of time with the rest of us knights."

"Round table reference?"

"But of course," Asakura replied. "What's your sched look like?"

I handed over the paper print out I'd received a week ago in the mail. She glanced over it carefully, her eyes widening a bit as she saw how scattered the courses I'd selected were. "Astrological legends, Organic Chemistry, Communism and Socialism, Zoology 400, Asian Philosophers and Terrorism and Freedom Fighters...." she read aloud. "18 credits..."

"20, actually," I said. "I have organic and zoology labs," I said.

Naka let loose a low whistle of appreciation. "Not just a pretty face." His eyes brightened as he considered my course list. "We'll have Organic together." He shot a nasty look at Namiki. "Along with the bishounen."

"Just can it," Namiki said with a scowl. "I'm taking terrorism as an elective," he said, "so I'll see you there, too."

Asakura shook her head. "I'm not taking any of these. I took O-chem as a sophomore, and zoology isn't required for my degree."

"We'll take you to the planetarium, though," Naka offered, rising to his feet with a reasonable amount of grace.

Namiki rose as well, but his expression was a bit warier. I guessed that he was used to girls throwing themselves at him and probably tired of it, but... well, I didn't like delicate beauty on a man. I mean, I was a prettier man than he would ever be. I liked men who looked more... masculine. Like Touya.

The three were good company as they escorted me to the planetarium, offering me cheerful and helpful advise about how to survive at Tomoeda U. Don't eat the fish sticks, don't sign up for anymore classes with Hatanaka-sensei, and dear lord, don't join one of the frats. The science majors were all relatively close-knit, and the departments had biweekly gatherings which I would be invited to. All in all, it sounded pretty fun - and a heck of a lot better than sweeping at the shrine for the rest of my life.

The door to the planetarium was located off the right wing of Camelot. I smiled as Asakura offered to meet me after class to show me to the Upper Crust, one of the small cafes on campus. She assured me it was the only place to get decent food that wasn't over or undercooked.

I waved goodbye to them, feeling rejuvenated. It wasn't _that_ hard for me to make friends. Okay, so I cheated sometimes and let a bit of moon magic help make me more appealing, but since it was a part of me _anyway..._

My thoughts were interrupted as I prepared to open the door. As soon as I touched the handle, a familiar feel of magic surged through me, much the way a relatively minor jolt of electricity would. It could only be one person, I thought with extreme displeasure as I flung the door open, trying to keep a cheerful smile on my face.

Sure enough, Tsukishiro Yukito was seating in the front row, his head turned as he watched my entrance. Throughout the seats students were scattered like petals, most fiddling with laptops or talking on cell phones. A few were flipping through new textbooks. Everyone was off in their own little world.

I had a choice, and I knew exactly what to do. I could either pretend not to know him, or...

"Tsukishiro-kun!" I squealed as I raced down the aisle to take a seat right by him.

His twitch was even more satisfying than the one I'd gotten out of Suppi that morning. "Hello, Akizuki-san," he said in a rather dull voice. He was not pleased at my presence... good!

"How have you been?" I asked in a friendly voice which probably had him wanting to slap me away. I leaned forward and touched his arm familiarly, noting with pleasure that a few of our classmates had stopped their own pursuits to watch the show I was providing. "After you got upset, I've been so _worried..._" I gushed.

"About that-" he said, but I interrupted him first.

"Oh, I understand. The stress must be absolutely _terrible..._" I moved my hand to a comfortable position on his shoulder. "I don't hold it against you..." Lying through my teeth, but he was turning a brilliant shade of red which set off his hair so nicely, and it was just too much _fun!_

He bit his lip, obviously torn between allowing himself another outburst and his customary politeness. He knew I was toying with him, and there was nothing he could do about it without creating a scene.

My game was halted by a cough from the front of the room. A man I hadn't really noticed (sloppy of me, but I'd been busy), came around a podium and stood in front of the class. There were about sixty of us, and he stared us all down.

"Hello, class. Welcome to Astronomical Legends. If you're in the wrong place, leave. Otherwise stay right where you are while I take names. You're now in your assigned seats for the semester." He continued to speak, but I tuned him out, realizing how thoroughly I'd just been trapped.

A semester of sitting next to Yue's false form? How would I survive? Better yet, could I keep myself from committing murder?

Yukito merely tossed me an apprehensive look and then gave a long, slow sigh.


	4. Chapter 3

Aishuu Offers:  
**Nyctalopia**  
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction  
Sequel to "Alter Egos"  
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.

* * *

Three weeks into class, Yukito still wasn't speaking to me. Not that I wanted him to or anything, but it was getting annoying how he could just block me out like _that_ whenever I asked for a pencil. He would dig through his bag and hand over a mechanical pencil without even looking at me. If he hadn't had such nice pencils, I wouldn't have bothered asking him, but I'd managed to collect four without him demanding they be returned.

The class was interesting, though. I _knew_ a lot about astrology, and by extension astronomy, but I had never really considered how much history and thought had gone into it. Every culture had their own legends written in the skies.

"Ancient cultures sought to explain their universe, and what could be more noticeable than the heavens above them?" Hatanaka-sensei said. He had a dry, insulting wit to him, but sometimes his face would soften as he would paint a picture with words so colorful and wonderful that I could almost image it had been created on canvas. He loved his work, but hated having to share it with students who couldn't understand his passion.

He was a jerk, but I liked him. It almost made up for having to sit next to the stupid rabbit three times a week. It was at our tenth class - and wouldn't you know, it would have to be a Monday? - when things finally came to a head.

I should have known it was coming, but I hadn't really paid much attention to the course syllabus. It was something Hatanaka-sensei just ignored, so why should I waste time on it?

This class, he was covering some basic Chinese astrology, which I already knew from watching Fushigi Yuugi enough times so I could recite all of Nuriko's dialogue with him. I also had a pretty firm basis in my head from Eriol. Clow had always considered the stars important symbols of our reality and Eriol had inherited that.

"...project in your syllabus. I don't want to waste my time, so you're going to do it in pairs. You can select your topic, and I suggest you think carefully on it. I require a computer display, 20 page essay and a class presentation on your topic. Fifty percent of your grade rests on this project, so don't screw it up."

As soon as the project was announced, I felt _it._ It's hard to describe what the feeling was... well, not hard, just weird. It was like a itching sensation on the bottoms of my feet. I didn't shift in my chair, though I really, really wanted to scratch even though I knew it was on the magical plane, and nothing physical. I noticed Yukito shiver a bit, and knew he was feeling the same premonition.

"So, Tsukishiro-kun, what do you want to do?" I hissed to him out of the corner of my mouth as Hatanaka began to recite a list. "Go the easy route, something Greek?"

I noticed the way his hands fluttered around his notes, pale and pristine. Despite the manual labor I knew he did regularly, they were still unmarred, delicate as a lady's. Yue, of course, wouldn't stand for a false form that looked _common._, I thought a bit spitefully.

He blinked at me slowly. "Who says I'm working with-"

"Tsukishiro, you're with Akizuki..." I heard the professor read off. I tried very hard not to smirk - okay, I'm lying, I smirked like the Cheshire Cat - as Yukito paled a bit before color flooded his cheeks.

"You were saying?" I asked smugly.

"You're just lucky," he murmured. He shifted in his seat slightly, leaning away from me.

"There is no such thing as luck. There's only the inevitable," I told Yukito softly, striving for the suave sophistication the Eriol had used while telling me that. It was one of his strongest beliefs, the belief we were all bound to a complex Web which some called fate, but he called the inevitable. It was a subtle difference, but an important one.

Those gold eyes flashed with restrained temper, and I wondered if anyone else could feel the seductive flare of moon magic as it flared around him. I found myself staring at him, wondering what had caused him to become so frayed. Yukito was barely keeping it together.

It wasn't the place for a long, drawn out discussion on magical control, so I dismissed what little concern I might have had for him, though I made a mental note to talk to Eriol. I'm not completely heartless - just mostly.

"How about studying lunar mythology?" I suggested, hoping to distract him. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end, and I had to rein myself in tightly to keep from becoming Ruby Moon.

"Are you joking?" he asked.

"It seems practical," I replied. "Besides, aren't you for self-knowledge?"

He looked like he had swallowed something that went down the wrong way. "Akizuki-san..."

"I think you might like it!" I said positively. I offered him the wide grin that so many people found enchanting.

He stared at me for a second, before sighing and shaking his head. Then he smiled back at me, and I was surprised that I was pleased that the smile seemed genuine. "You're not going to let me win this, are you?" he asked, lifting his left eyebrow slightly.

"Of course not, so it's better to concede with grace!" I assured him. "It'll be fun - and easy! Easy is a good thing."

"Do you know how many lunar legends there are?" he asked me.

"Dozens, but we'll just cover some of the main ones or more unique ones," I said positively, smiling at him. I waved my hand at the professor so I could announce we'd made our decision. "You won't regret it!" I promised Yukito.

I already did, though.

* * *

That night, I broached the topic of Yukito to Eriol over dinner. We were having spaghetti and meatballs, and I was happily twirling the long strands of angel hair around my fork. It was nice to not be eating Japanese food. As much as I liked it, there's only so much seafood a sane person can take before going stark raving mad. My key exhibit is Suppi's reaction to takoyaki.

It was a comfortable family meal - no long table, no candlelight. Kaho was holding a discussion with Suppi over plans for tomorrow, while Eriol was watching them with a content smile on his face. When Kaho mused the virtues of a new detergent for laundry, Suppi volunteered to help hang them. It was not exactly the sort of thing most people would associate with magical beings, but we needed clean clothes, too, and it was easier to do things the normal way.

It was as good a time as any to broach the subject. "I have a special project for astronomy class," I told him.

He tilted his head in that inquiring fashion that meant he knew what I was going to say, but he was going to humor me anyway. "Oh?" his voice was pleasantly neutral.

"I'm doing a partner project with Tsukishiro on moon mythology," I said, feeling a bit annoyed about the whole mess. "It's a cool project, but I'm going to have to work with him, and he's such a stick in the mud..."

"Really." Eriol wasn't giving an inch.

Okay, time for the direct approach. "Is there some reason he's like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like... that! He used to be every mother's ideal son, but now he's sulky and has no sense of humor!" I nearly shouted, slamming my fork down. It wasn't real mature, but right now I wanted to throw a fit about how unfair my life was. Suppi glared at me, annoyed that I was interrupting his conversation on properly separating the whites from the coloreds.

Eriol and Kaho exchanged significant looks. "Nakaru, have you thought about talking to him?"

"He never listens," I replied before grabbing a piece of garlic bread and chomping down on it hard as my fork idled in my other hand.

Eriol put his hand on my wrist, the way he did whenever he was going to say something profound that would go right over my head. "I think you two have a lot in common," he said.

"Well, duh." Of course we shared things. We were both magical moon guardians, the only ones in the world. I glared at him for bothering to state the obvious.

Kaho chimed in. "It wouldn't hurt to give him the benefit of the doubt. Tsukishiro-kun could use you as a friend - and I'm sure you would benefit as well." They were hinting again, and I felt a bit abused. I hated it when they got all _I know the future, now just be a good minion and listen to me because I know what's best._

"He's... so..." I tried to find the right words to express my dislike.

"Nakuru, you have to come to terms with your jealousy," Kaho said quietly.

"I... am... not... jealous," I ground out. The fork I was holding bent in my hand as I forgot to control my strength.

"Oh?" Eriol gave a placid smile as he quirked his eyebrow at me, making his point as he studied the fork. "That's going to be expensive to replace."

I bent the fork back into shape, annoyed he was worried about his set of silverware. "I'm not," I said, and my chin jutted out stubbornly. "I can easily see why you'd replace him with a superior model."

That was a really big slip, and silence hung heavily in the air. "Ruby Moon, are you afraid I'll do the same to you?" he asked softly. It wasn't the obvious question, but it was something that had been nagging at the back of my mind.

_If it can happen to Yue, it can happen to me._

The secret was out, and I tried to smile through it. "Of course not! I'm absolutely perfect, so you'll never need to get rid of me!" Even to my ears, I sounded false.

Eriol and Kaho exchanged one of those long, meaningful looks that was meant to go over my head. I decided to ignore it in favor of the spaghetti, since I really didn't feel like picking a fight I would inevitably lose. You just can't win against Eriol.

"Ruby Moon, you know I love you," he said, evidently not taking the hint and letting the subject drop.

"You loved him, too," I said, feeling my fears brim to the surface like cream on unpasteurized milk. "Can you promise you'll never give me to someone else, that I'll be with you forever?" It was an unfair question, and we both knew it. Their inherent honesty prevented them from answering with reassuring platitudes.

Kaho bit her lip before replying. "Humans are mortal, Ruby Moon, even ones like Eriol. There may come a time when you have a new master."

"I am not Clow Reed," Eriol said. "I do not know my future."

The fork I had been playing with found its way into the plaster of the wall. I felt that simmering insecurity boil over, and then I was on my feet, yelling. "You don't have to die like he did, but you're going to because you believe you have to! You could just stay with us forever, but you're going to die, and Spinel Sun and I will be left alone! And then you'll be reborn, and I'll become obsolete!" I was so upset I was shaking, long, jagged tremors that rocked my body on its heels. I hated Yue, but there was nothing I feared more than meeting his fate. There was nothing worse than becoming a masterless servant, unloved and abandoned.

Eriol's hand on my shoulder wasn't as reassuring as it usually was. "Nakuru, my Ruby Moon, I promise you this: everything will be alright."

"Those are Sakura's words," I snapped back. "They don't suit you!"

"But they're the truth. Nothing happens without purpose; we all follow the course fate has set before us."

"I don't want to be alone," I whispered.

"Sometimes there is nothing wrong with it," Eriol replied. "We all touch each other's lives in unique ways, treading the paths of destiny together. Somewhere along the way, we may lose touch with people we love, but there will always be a new companion." 


	5. Chapter 4

Aishuu Offers: 

**Nyctalopia**  
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction  
Sequel to "Alter Egos"  
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.

* * *

I bounce back quickly from everything. There's no reason to stay depressed and worry about things we can't control. I leave that to Yue. So the next morning, I went to the kitchen and chirped a cheerful hello to Kaho as I secured an orange for breakfast. Her eyes were sadder, but she smiled in return, offering to make me a real meal.

I would be late if I indulged, so I asked her to give me a rain check, which she agreed to readily enough. It was hard not to feel a bit guilty about my explosion the day before, but I managed. No regrets, that's my motto!

"Ruby Moon, would you be so kind as to do me a favor while you're out today?" Eriol asked, and I turned to look into his eyes. He was getting taller, and it seemed like I didn't have to look down as far as I used to.

"Sure thing!" It's in a moon guardian's nature to want to serve their master. I liked helping him whenever possible.

"Sakura-chan will have some notes for me. If you could pick them up after she's done school, that would be ideal."

I wondered why he was skipping class, but it wasn't my place to ask. Maybe there was some obscure alignment of the planets that only happened once in a century, and he was planning on taking advantage to perform a rite of magic which would leave him exhausted for days. Or maybe he just wanted to spend some time with Kaho.

"No problem!" I said, offering him a "v" sign with my fingers. "I can see Touya!" I'd been in town for nearly two months, and I still hadn't seen the boy I'd chased in high school. I wondered if he still looked as good.

"He doesn't live with his father anymore," Eriol told me. The little bastard actually have the nerve to smirk. "I don't think you'll be seeing him for a while yet." He was being cryptic again, and I toyed with the idea of throwing a red sock in when he washed his white dress skirts. That would show him, _and_ prove to Kaho and Suppi I knew about laundry. Two birds in one stone. I mentally filed the plot for later.

I decided that rising to the bait would merely offer him encouragement, so instead I tossed my head, sending my hair cascading over my right shoulder. "Well, I can see Sakura-chan, then! Is she still as cute as she was?" I demanded.

"Of course," Eriol said. "Sakura can't be anything but adorable." His face gained the goopy look it always wore when he spoke of his other half's daughter. If I hadn't known better, I would have called it infatuation - instead, it was the intense paternal love of a first-time father.

I squealed happily. I just adored things that were cute, and Sakura topped the list. There was just something so pleasant about being around her that made me want to snatched her up into a hug and never let her go.

I heard Suppi make some kind of sarcastic remark about my flighty attraction to shiny things, but I was in too good a mood now to care. With a wave, I left, slamming the door behind me.

Today was going to be a better day, I told myself. I had a study date with Naka and Namiki for organic chemistry, and then we'd join Asakura for an early dinner. Best of all, I didn't have astronomy, which meant I didn't have to see Yukito.

My morning flew by, filled with a zoology lab that didn't involved dissection. I liked animals, and while I wasn't the squeamish type, it was hard not to relate to the specimens. I really hated dissecting cats most of all, since I couldn't help but see Suppi there. I wasn't about to tell him that. He'd think I liked him or something.

At eleven, I was finally able to put my lab book away, waving a cheerful goodby to my partner, who merely shook his head. He found me exhaustingly exuberant, I knew, but I was more than smart enough to carry him for this class. I thought he was boring, so it was a fair trade.

I stretched slowly, feeling my muscles protest the relative inactivity. My stomach growled slightly, reminding me I had skipped breakfast on the way out. To the cafeteria, then. Time for a pre-lunch lunch.

Wouldn't you know it, Tsukishirou Yukito just had to be there. I wasn't surprised - where there's food, Yukito is sure to follow. I saw him settling into one of those nice little corner booths, balancing his tray on top of what looked like a science textbook.

I knew of his love for food; I contained more than my fair share of appetite as well, since Moon Guardians could supplement their need for magic with food. Yukito took that to new levels - his tray was filled with enough food for three, most of it pretty high on the calories. A petty part of me wished he'd get fat from all of it, but he was just going to burn it off.

He glanced up and saw me, his eyes widening like a rabbit caught in the headlights. We stared for several long moments before I decided the hell with it, and made my way over. Before he could say anything, I pushed my tray into the chair across from him. "Is anyone sitting here?" I asked, even as I made myself comfortable.

"Apparently you are," Yukito murmured, nodding acknowledgment to me.

Normally I would have tossed off a flirtatious response to that, but this was Yukito. "Is that bad?" I asked, blinking my eyes innocently before whipping the wrapping off my first hand burger.

Yukito ate a few French fries, chewing with deliberation. "It makes me nervous," he said finally. "I wonder what you're up to."

"Who says I'm up to anything?"

"I remember the last time you were in town. It was... not a good time in my life." He looked over my shoulder, and I knew he was gazing sightlessly out the window.

I was not in the mood to indulge a pity party - unless I was the one throwing it. "The world doesn't revolve around you and your insecurities," I pointed out sharply.

That jerked him out of his reverie, startled eyes focusing on me. They looked like brandy, I thought, the kind Eriol liked to sip when he thought Kaho wasn't paying attention. "I never thought it did," he said softly.

For a second - just one, and I will never admit to it should Eriol or Yukito ever ask me - I almost felt empathetic toward him. I knew how it was to question your existence; I understood how lonely he was because he wasn't like everyone else. For just that moment, I considered offering comfort. Thankful the impulse passed, just the way gas did.

"Good." I considered his French fries, deciding to risk it. I moved quickly, snagging one of his plate and putting it in my mouth before he had a chance to relax. It was pleasantly salty, and I made a mental note to order them next time.

He stared at me in disbelief. "That was mine," he said mildly. "You could have asked."

"You would have said no, so why bother?" I retorted. I eyed his extra-large chocolate chip cookie that was _just_ out of my immediate reach.

He noticed it, and he pulled his tray a bit closer. "Why are you here?" he asked.

"I already didn't answer that question intentionally," I told him, giving up my quest to purloin his food. I picked up a tuna sandwich, sinking my teeth in with relish. It wasn't half bad, a surprise considering it was from a school cafeteria.

He sighed, and I couldn't detect any anger in him. "I mean why are you sitting here?"

"Because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Free seat, someone to mooch off of, what more can a girl want?" He shifted on his seat in discomfort. "What?" I demanded.

"I thought... well, Touya told me..." He blushed, before picking up his cola and trying to hide his discomfort.

"Touya-kun?" I asked eagerly. I may not have been in love with him, but Touya was still hot. "Was he talking about me?"

"He told me you weren't a girl," he got out in a rush, his words soft and tripping over each other.

I fingers my blouse, which hid how flat I was. Questions of gender tended to be more amusing to me than anything else. It was about perspective. "So? I like looking like one. Everything's much cuter. I mean, we're not even human to start with - so what's the difference if I prefer acting like a girl?"

"And you're okay with that?" he asked, sounding drained. It was a far cry from the boy who'd made me drop my ice cream on myself. It was like a part of him just didn't care anymore.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, though I could think of dozens of things I didn't like about my situation. However, I couldn't change what I _was_ so fighting it would just be a waste of time. Go with the flow, and life's much easier.

Yukito's hands trembled slightly, although he tried to hide it. "We're not real," he said. "We're the figment of someone else's imagination."

Someone obviously had some serious issues to address. "Really, " I drawled. I considered his statement for a moment before lashing out my hand. I hit him upside the head with my fingers, with more force than a human would be able to bring to bear.

He yelped, loudly, like a puppy that had been kicked. The cafeteria fell silent around us as people turned to stare. Yukito clutched his head, which was probably ringing quite well. His glasses were slightly askew, and he looked disgustingly cute disheveled.

"Did you feel that?" I asked innocently. I smiled at him in my "I'm just a playful girl" fashion, and people started to lose interest.

"Yes! Why did you do that?" he asked, speaking lowly so we wouldn't be overheard. He looked angry again, which I preferred to his moping.

"How can you feel it if you're not real?" I asked. There was only a cup of pudding left on my tray, so I picked up a spoon to attack it. After breaking the skin with a spoon, I dug in to indulge in the chocolate, which mellowed my mood. Never underestimate the wonders of chocolate.

He blinked slowly as my point registered. "I-"

"Look, Yukito-kun. You have some serious issues to deal with, but don't insult me in the process. If you decide you're less than human, that applies to me as well." I took a final bite of my pudding, before focusing on Yukito's lunch again. "Are you going to eat that?" I waved at his cookie.

His hand rose defensively in front of his tray to prevent any more mooching aspirations I might have had. "I always clear my tray," he said.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "You know that project we're supposed to be working on together?"

He looked even more confused at my abrupt change in topic. "Yes?"

"I'll meet you tonight in the school library, say around seven?" Better to get it over with than to prolong the agony.

"I can't," he said. "I'm having dinner with a friend."

"If it's Touya, I'll come along!" I volunteered. I know Kaho had said I wouldn't see my former studmuffin for a while, but I really wanted to. He was just so yummy.

"It's not," he said abruptly. "How about tomorrow instead?"

"You're not cheating on him, are you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. It was so much fun to mess with Yukito's head.

"We're not dating," Yukito answered. "Tomorrow, at the library, at seven," he told me, before standing up. To my surprise, he handed the cookie I had coveted to me, still wrapped in its wax paper. "I have to go."

I watched as he gathered the remnants of his lunch on his tray and proceded to trash it. Just when he was about to leave, that imp of mischief I was always wrestling with won control.

"It's a daaaate, Tsukishirou-ku-un!" I called after him.

Okay, it wasn't really nice of me - but watching him flush and hurry out of the room made it worth it. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Nyctalopia**

_by aishuu_

* * *

_Part 5:_

Camelot was a nice place to hang out. The University's science college was better endowed than any of the other divisions, and their facility reflected that. My favorite place to hang out was a small lounge located on the third floor. Naka had introduced me to it on my second day.

The lounge featured several comfortable couches and armchairs that were pleasantly overstuffed. The room was mainly done in greens, with large potted plants claiming each of the corners. The carpet was relatively new, and offered places to sprawl for those who didn't like furniture.

It was the perfect study area. Professors would wander by occasionally, offering extra help or just to chat, and a few students tended to hang out there, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere as they plugged into their Ipods and did homework.

My friends and I had claimed the couch in the right corner, out of the line of most of the traffic. It was the best place to study and gossip, slightly shielded by a large table that I actually liked to lie on. I was stretching out on it, my feet crossed in the air as I sprawled on my stomach. A book was in front of me, hinting I should be studying, but I wasn't in the mood. Organic chemistry wasn't that difficult; it was merely a matter of memorization and common sense.

I was distracting myself by balling up the ragged edges of paper I had pulled out of a spiral bound notebook and trying to see how many pieces I could land in Namiki's hair before he noticed. I had managed four so far, the stark whiteness standing out against his beautiful black hair. Naka had already noticed what I was doing, and was helping by providing a distraction.

"So you see, you need to check it it's covalent bonding..." he said.

Namiki looked frustrated. He was a good student, and loved chemistry, but he wasn't very good at it. I'd been told he was actually quite talented in ethics classes. He had a way of seeing right to the issue and dissecting it rationally in the blink of the eye. He wanted to become a bioethicist, and believed that he had to at least have some kind of background in science.

I used my fingernails to flick another ball at Namiki. My normally incomparable aim failed me, and it went wide, bouncing off the green carpet. Scowling, I prepared another projectile.

Namiki had gotten frustrated enough to pick up his notebook and run his head into it repeatedly. It was cute, in a stupid-boy kind of way. "I am never going to get this!" he said, and I noted with disappointment that he'd managed to dislodge two of the papers.

"Just be patient! If you'd listen to me, you'd get it!" Naka said.

Namiki muttered something under his breath that not even I could decipher, even with my sharp hearing. I was willing to wager it was not something polite company would like. "It's like trying to read Latin," he said.

"That's not that hard," I retorted, a bit distracted.

"Like you do," Namiki replied crankily. He really was pretty when he sulked.

_"Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?" _I said grandly, smirking a bit in triumph. Of course I spoke Latin. It's the foundation of many western languages, and since I represented the "Western" side of Eriol's magic, it was ingrained in my being.

Naka joined Namiki in staring, before he chuckled. "What did you say?"

"Nothing important," I replied, waving it away with a flippant hand. "Just asked if that was a scroll in your toga, or if you were just happy to see me."

Namiki and Naka both surreptitiously glanced down at their pants with the self-conscious pride of men everywhere possessed. It made me chortle even more, since I actually understood their dilemma better than they would have believed. In the war of the sexes, I had selected the winning side, but it didn't keep me from understanding the fundamentals of the other.

It had taken a while for Namiki to get comfortable with me. I flirted with him outrageously at times, but he'd realized I treated Naka the same way soon enough. I wasn't serious, so he learned to attempt to give back whatever I threw at him instead of freezing me out. I might have gone too far this time, though. Namiki wore a scarlet blush, unused to being teased so bawdily by a girl. Naka, however, rose to the occasion grandly.

"Would you care to do something about it, then?" he asked, getting up quickly so he could wrap a companionable arm around my shoulders as he practically materialized beside me.

I fluttered my eyelashes madly before running a hand over his chest. "I would, if you had any clue what to do _with_ it," I purred, causing Namiki to nearly choke on his laughter.

"That was low, Nakuru-chan," Naka said, giving me puppy eyes.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" I said heartlessly. I was in a positively vicious temper because of lunch, and was in the mood to take no prisoners. Naka nearly whimpered, but Namiki melodramatically rolled off the couch, clutching his sides with laughter. I considered joining him on the floor and starting a tickle fight, but he probably wouldn't take that well. Besides, I was too comfortable. Let the boys get into their own trouble.

I knew they would. Like me, Naka was a firm believer of creating a firm diversion instead of confronting his problems. He pounced on Namiki, and started a wrestling match. Naka outweighed Namiki by at least twenty pounds, but Namiki was quicker. I watched them for several moments before I couldn't hold a taunt in any longer.

"You know, you two look awfully hot like that," I said, licking my lips. "My own, live yaoi show."

I've never seen two boys move apart that quickly. Namiki's skin was the color of a tomato, and it made me snicker even more. I don't know why I said it, but the words came out of my mouth before I thought them through. I laughed madly. "I haven't known anyone so innocent since Yukito!" I exclaimed, letting my tongue get the better of me.

"Tsukishirou Yukito?" Naka echoed, looking interested.

"Yes, you know him?" I asked, feeling a sudden distinct lack of enthusiasm for the conversation. I knew I was about to get told how wonderful Yukito was. Why _had_ I brought him into this?

"Vaguely. He's quiet, keeps to himself," Naka said. "Asakura had a crush on him until she realized he was, you know..."

"He was totally and completely head over heels for Kinomoto Touya?" I asked.

Naka's jaw dropped, before he politely covered his surprise with a cough. Namiki raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. He was probably trying to avoid becoming my target again, which said something for his sense of self preservation.

"Did I say something?" I asked innocently.

"You mean he's gay?" Naka blurted out.

I felt myself blush. I hadn't realized that Yukito's relationship with Touya wasn't common knowledge. Uncharacteristically, I felt a bit of worry for the couple – I hoped that my thoughtlessness wouldn't get them in trouble. Well, Touya at least – Yukito deserved what he got. "He certainly was in high school," I said. "Though I doubt he knew it - he's kind of oblivious. Why did Asakura stop liking him?"

"She thought he was an MPD case. Didn't you hear?"

"No!" I said, leaning forward like an eager gossip, while processing what they just said. Maybe they'd found his mood shifts as annoying as I did.

"Well, she had abnormal psych with him last semester, and he kept asking a lot of questions. Seems that after class, he went up to the prof and started asking a lot of really interesting things. Wouldn't have been that interesting, but he asked if Takunoka-sensei knew anyone who'd dealt with cases like that."

Disappointing, but explainable. Learning he had Yue in his head probably caused poor little Yukito a crisis of self. "There's nothing wrong with him," I said firmly before amending my statement. "Well, not mentally, at least."

"Ever been around him when he's spaced out?"

"He's always spaced out," I retorted, wondering why I was defending him. I guess it's because he's the other moon guardian, and if he looks bad, that reflects on me. I am perfectly sane, thank you. Duality is natural to me, and didn't need to be judged by the standards they were setting for Yukito.

"Yeah, but not like him," Namiki said seriously. The blush on his face was fading, I noted with disappointment. "There's something not right about him."

Naka nodded solemnly. "He's on a completely different planet. I swear I've seen him stare at a wall for an entire class period not even blinking. It's weird."

"He may be a bit unusual, but he's still a nice guy," I said, crossing my hands over my chest as I continued my defense. I guess it's one of those things where bullies get possessive of their targets. It's fine for me to gripe about Yukito, but I didn't want anyone else to.

Namiki smiled, and I looked at him firmly, but only earned a laugh. "Maybe the indomitable Nakuru has a bit of a crush?" he suggested, raising an eyebrow at Naka, who chortled, eager to get his own out.

"Hell no," I snapped out quickly, shuddering a bit. The idea of me and Yukito... Yue... was disgusting. It was nearly incestuous. "I wouldn't do anything with him if he was the last creature on earth."

"The lady doth protest to much, methinks," Naka interjected.

I rose to my feet, clattering off the table in a huff. "Yukito and I don't get along real well," I said, taking care to carefully enunciate. Why is it that whenever a girl doesn't like a guy, people automatically think it's a case of denial?

"Did you find out which way he swung the hard way?" Naka teased.

It was so tempting to zap him with my powers, and I think Eriol would be impressed at my restraint. Instead, I picked up the books I'd been studying, and dropped them onto Naka's stomach. My aim was perfect; the three thick tomes caught him right under his ribcage, momentarily winding him. I blinked down at him innocently. "I think we're distantly related or something," I said. "I'm not into incest."

The alarm on my cellphone sounded, and I sighed, pulling it out and checking it. A message from Eriol reminded me to stop by Sakura's. I hadn't forgotten, but I had pushed it to the back of my mind. Eriol had a way of knowing when I was getting sidetracked, politely reminding me with well-timed reminders.

"I gotta go," I told my friends as I collected my study materials into my cute book bag. Naka was still trying to catch his breath from the blow, but Namiki wished me a cheerful goodbye, still chortling. I gave him the expected smile, but left feeling thoughtful.

While we'd attended high school, Yukito and I had clashed even though he'd never actually done anything to acknowledge the rivalry. I wanted to prove I was the superior moon guardian, and not just a copy of the original. I wanted to be popular, like he was. I I wanted the power Touya had, but gave to him._ I wanted, I wanted, I wanted..._ It all came down to one solid, unflattering fact: I wanted to be the master's favorite, and I was willing to do anything to remove the competition.

I've always known that Eriol remembered Yue with a nostalgic fondness, and although he wasn't Clow anymore, a part of me resented the place Yue held in his heart. Having Yukito win Touya had just reinforced my inferiority complex. Hearing the skewed perspectives of my classmates was awakening feelings I couldn't immediately name. All I knew was that I felt sick to my stomach.

As I stepped into the lobby, I realized that I was actually worried about the snow rabbit. His behavior so far had been moody and irritable, and somehow unsure of himself. I pushed open the door, ready to head to Sakura's and forget the whole matter like usual, but paused when I realized that what I _wanted_ to do was track down Yukito and shake some sense into him.

I stood on the threshold of Camelot, trying to decide which way to go. The wind – Yue's favored element – brushed against my hair, pulling me toward the Kinomoto residence. I considered for another moment before I followed it. Today I would follow my master's wishes, and visit Sakura.

But tomorrow I would meet with Yukito, and finally have it out with him. It was a confrontation I'd been waiting years for.


	7. Chapter 6

Nyctalopia_**  
**_

_by aishuu_

* * *

_Part 6_

The meeting with Sakura was distressingly _normal._ There's few things in my life that qualify as truly normal, so I suppose that's an exception in and of itself, but when you're going to meet the most powerful sorceress in the world, you kind of expect something a bit more... well, interesting. Don't get me wrong. Sakura is the cutest girl I know, but I was hoping to at least see Touya – or failing that, Keroberus since it's so much fun to wind him up.

I'm easily amused. Sue me.

The Kinomoto residence hadn't changed much since the last time I'd seen it – a new coat of paint, but that was about it. I rang the doorbell and waiting patiently for someone to answer. Thirty seconds passed, and I decided to ring the door bell again. Another thirty seconds, and I decided that three times might be the charm. I _knew_ Sakura was home since Eriol wouldn't have bothered to send me if she wasn't. Say what you like, but precognition can be a real time saver some times. Besides, I'd bailed on dinner with my friends for this, so I wasn't about to give up easily.

My heightened sense of hearing detected the sound of running feet after my fifth attempt, and moments later the locks were undone and the door flung open. Sakura panted a bit as she tried to catch her breath. "Akizuki-san!" she exclaimed, raising a hand to her lips in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Eriol sent me to pick up some notes," I replied. I gave her a cheerful smile.

"Hoey! I forgot!" She said, and she stepped back from the door. "Come in, come in, and I'll get them."

I stepped into the house, toeing my shoes off as she directed me to wait in the living room. She pounded up the stairs, reminding me that Touya had always referred to her as a monster. I found myself smiling as I checked their décor.

The sofa had been reupholstered, and there were a couple more pictures on the wall, but otherwise it was the same as I remembered. There was something inviting about the home, the feeling that lots of love resided in these rooms. Any house with Sakura as a resident was bound to feel that way, but I bet Kinomoto-sensei had something to do with it, too.

I couldn't detect much of the faint "aftertaste" that marked places Yue spent a lot of time. It was there, but it felt "stale," for lack of a better term. Yue wasn't the constant presence he'd been in this home while we were in high school. Normally that would have made me a bit smug, but due to my earlier encounters with Yukito I felt more puzzled than anything else. Something to think about, providing nothing more interesting came along. Possible ammunition for my next spat with the snow rabbit, the really, really petty part of me thought.

I was inspecting the draperies – a floral pattern that I think was based on nadeshiko flowers - when another series of footsteps heralding Sakura's return sounded. I smiled at her, taking a second to evaluate my hostess.

Sakura was pretty, her body blooming with the gentle curves of womanhood. While I wasn't attracted to women in general, she was almost enough for me to call her an exception. I could feel her power, as intoxicating as fine wine, barely contained within her skin. She was a younger soul than Eriol, and more innocent. For a second I spared a moment to envy Yue his master before dismissing the thought. I loved Eriol best.

Luckily she didn't notice my distraction. I'd hate to have to explain myself, and her power levels were such that I couldn't easily lie to her. And I wouldn't want to – she's that kind person who didn't deserve any falsehoods. "Here they are, Nakuru-san!" she exclaimed, offering me a smile. "Would you like to sit down and have a snack with me?"

It's not like me to turn down free food, so I agreed. I waited for her patiently in the living room while she puttered around in the kitchen. I could hear her loudly telling Keroberus to keep his paws out of her way. The plushy-lion was quite vehement in his protests that he was trying to help. Finally I heard her yell at him to just go upstairs and play with her game console, which was probably his ultimate goal anyway. Any guardian created by Clow – or Eriol – had a manipulative streak.

She bustled back in, her smile nearly taking in her ears as she settled a tray on the low coffee table. "Here we go!" she said, setting a glass of tea in front of me. "Help yourself to the cookies – my dad made them yesterday."

I murmured a thank-you as she took the seat across from me. Obligingly, I picked up a green-sprinkled sugar cookie, and sunk my teeth in. Not surprisingly, they tasted familiar – Fujitaka-san used the same recipe as Eriol. Not only did they share a soul, but they shared the same yummy cookbook.

Sakura didn't seem that interested in her drink, preferring to talk to me instead. "I was so glad when Eriol-kun decided to move back! I was hoping I'd get to see you again – Eriol said maybe I could come to the shrine and work as a miko for a bit!"

Sakura seemed unsure about the idea, although she would have done much better than I had. She's a bit better at sticking to plans. I moved to encourage her.

"That would be fun! I'd be happy to teach you," I said cheerfully, ignoring the fact I hadn't actually performed any duties for months. It would be really fun to work with Sakura-chan. I really wanted to know her better – and being in the presence of her heady power would just be a bonus.

Thinking of power... "Is Touya-kun around?" I asked, hoping to make the visit a bit more interesting.

"No, he's moved out." Sakura gave me a soft smile. "I miss him, but don't tell him that."

I giggled, raising my free hand to mime zipping my lips. "He won't hear it from me!" I told her, although I was disappointed in the missed opportunity. I wasn't surprised, though. Eriol had pointed out that Touya wasn't living here anymore. And what else had my master said? My all-too-perfect memory quickly supplied the answer: _I don't think you'll be seeing him for a while yet. _

I know I've said it before, but it warrants repeating: having a seer for a master _sucks_.

"Thanks, Nakuru-san," she said. She selected a cookie – one unsurprisingly with pink sugar on it, and took a bite.

"So is Touya-kun sharing an apartment with your moon guardian?" I asked curiously. This would be a really good way to get the dirt on my former crush.

"No," she said, and her eyebrows raised up toward her hairline. "Yukito still lives at his grandparents... I mean, where he's always lived."

"I would have thought they would have moved in together," I said, forgetting for a moment I was speaking to the incredibly naïve Mistress of the Cards. She's always been a bit thick about relationship subtleties – I doubted she knew that Touya and Yukito were... like that.

To my surprise, her expression grew troubled. She stared down into her glass, poking her straw around to stir the ice cubes. "They aren't like that, Nakuru-san," she said. "And I don't know why."

Apparently she was more grown up than I thought. "You mean _like that,_ like that?" I echoed, leaning heavily on the first two words to make the innuendo clear.

Sakura blushed. It looked absolutely enchanting, and I could feel the power in the room start to swirl with her embarrassment. From upstairs, my senses could detect the Cards starting to stir, their presence glowing faintly in the back of my mind. Apparently she hadn't learned to completely control her power yet.

"My brother is Yukito-san's most special person," she answered, "and I know Yukito is his."

"So what's the problem?" I asked, even though I could fill in the blank. Obviously, the stupid moon guardian had gotten on Touya's last nerve.

"I don't know," she said, and she looked so depressed that I reached across and gave her hand a reassuring pat. Had the table not been between us, I would have cheerfully glomped her, but I didn't want to knock over our snack.

"It's not your problem, Sakura-chan. I was just being curious." It was almost, almost an apology from me.

Sakura smiled at me. "It'll be okay. Besides, I promised to kick my big brother if he made Yukito-san cry."

"Who says it's Touya-kun's fault?" I asked.

Her face puckered into a frown. "Of course it's my brother's fault. Yukito-san is too nice for it to be his fault." Then she changed the subject, asking me about how I liked college.

Personally, I thought she had things messed up a bit. But she was Yue's master, so I guess that could justify her loyalty.

The company was pleasant enough, I guess, and Sakura was charming, but I left feeling a bit annoyed. Usually Eriol didn't send me on errands unless they were important – and all I'd gotten out of the delivery was a bit of gossip and some tasty cookies. I did a good job at hiding my discontent, though, and bid Sakura a farewell half an hour later.

I was going to have to get my master to explain what he really wanted me to learn.

* * *

Eriol was seated at the kitchen table, calmly peeling apples when I arrived home. He's got the practically supernatural ability to peel them without breaking the long, thin strip of red apple skin. So many things about him speak of unconscious skill (aka anal-compulsive perfectionism). It was at turns irritating and reassuring – after all, I wouldn't be the nearly-perfect creature I am without his talents, but there was something really, really grating about the way he was always better at everything.

"Did you have a nice visit with Sakura-chan?" Eriol asked, quirking an eyebrow, baiting me.

I retaliated by dropping the notes I'd collected on the table with a loud _thump_, and not coincidentally stepping on his foot. Unfortunately my shoes were relatively soft-soled, and couldn't inflict much in the way of pain. Not that I wanted him to hurt, but making him know I was irate was important, too.

"Why did you send me over there? Touya doesn't live there anymore!" I exclaimed, ignoring the fact that Sakura had been a lovely hostess and springing into my main issue.

"Maybe that's why," he replied, giving the half-smirk that made people want to slap him. Myself included.

I indulged in a slight scream of frustration, stomping my foot angrily. "What does it take to get a straight answer out of you?" I demanded.

A strange expression crossed his face. "Ruby Moon, would you _want_ a straight answer from me?" he asked softly.

It was the opening for a zinging insult, but I couldn't take it. Eriol was being serious. "No," I replied, because I could never lie to him."You wouldn't be you if you did that."

"Just trust me, then," he said, and he actually had the nerve to pat me on the cheek. But he looked sad, so I didn't yell at him for it. I could never really understand his moods.

"I do," I replied, but then shook my head. "Are you making apple pie?" I asked.

"Apple crisp," he said. "Want to help?"

"As long as we offer Suppi a big slice!" I said with a laugh, turning to the nearby cupboard to retrieve the cinnamon and sugar.

* * *


End file.
